What did you use for anal penetration when you were too young to purchase a realistic dildo? I used potatoes, carrots, and zucchini.

by Anonymous

reply 63

September 16, 2019 3:34 AM

I would plug in the vacuum and lay it on the floor and insert the handle in my ass. It had vibration!

by Anonymous

reply 2

September 10, 2019 4:38 AM

I'm a very, very stupid person. I used an aquarium heater. I didn't realize the risk I was taking until much later in life.

by Anonymous

reply 3

September 10, 2019 4:41 AM

[quote] I used potatoes

I suppose that means you were fingerling-ed.

by Anonymous

reply 4

September 10, 2019 4:44 AM

this was an amazing feat when I was in high school

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by Anonymous

reply 5

September 10, 2019 4:46 AM

R5 thanks for reminding me. I still sit on a caulendar every day.

by Anonymous

reply 6

September 10, 2019 5:18 AM

actually I only focused on the masher

by Anonymous

reply 7

September 10, 2019 5:25 AM

Any advice regarding what you could use while at a hotel? I travel a lot for work, and sometimes have some urges.

by Anonymous

reply 8

September 10, 2019 6:31 AM

R8 maybe a curling iron? Often hotels offer them alongside the hairdryer.

by Anonymous

reply 10

September 10, 2019 6:44 AM

I’ve also used an umbrella handle when on vacation and couldn’t find anything else.

by Anonymous

reply 11

September 11, 2019 3:11 AM

This is beyond embarrassing but... a bamboo pestle when I was a gayling. You can kinda see the logic behind it, can't you? Thank fuck that shit never once splintered. 🙏

And no, of course it was never used for anything else after I had claimed it for myself, don't be gross.

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by Anonymous

reply 13

September 11, 2019 3:23 AM

wooden toilet paper roller

by Anonymous

reply 14

September 11, 2019 3:26 AM

My mom's flexible hair curlers best just right.

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by Anonymous

reply 15

September 11, 2019 3:39 AM

When I was a teen - a cucumber, a boat oar, a hammer handle and a plunger. And I filmed it on the (80s) camcorder. I was very horny I guess.

by Anonymous

reply 16

September 11, 2019 3:48 AM

I tried a banana but my ass was too tight at the age of 16 and the banana was squashed!! Then I tried a huge thick carrot and I came in a few seconds!

by Anonymous

reply 18

September 11, 2019 4:08 AM

But with carrots, if you put the wide end in you, that means you're holding onto the skinny end... dangerous!

by Anonymous

reply 19

September 11, 2019 4:13 AM

r17 It was a plastic boat oar, not a wooden one. Amazingly, I had no problem taking it with just lotion, no lube, no Vaseline.

by Anonymous

reply 21

September 11, 2019 4:18 AM

r9 Hahahaha. I had one of those commemorative mini bats (mine was a pen on one end; pleasure on the other) and it found it's way where it shouldn't have been.

by Anonymous

reply 22

September 11, 2019 4:18 AM

A peeled banana. And then, and then, it slipped right in! All of it. Gone!

Visions of going to the emergency room flooded in. Oh the shame, the mortification, the doctors knowing looks! Omg. I'll die. What would my mother say? Would it get around in school! Would I get a new excruciating nickname! OMFG.

Then I shat it out. Easy. Plop. Like a well formed moist turd. Happiness is shitting out a banana, I realized then, gentle reader.

by Anonymous

reply 24

September 11, 2019 4:38 AM

Honestly, improvised dildos is kind of a fetish of mine. But yeah, nothing that might shatter heh. No vegetable is safe! But also, rather than travel with sex toys and risk embarrassment, you can visit the produce aisle. Asian (narrow, long) eggplant is about the right level of hardness. Cukes are firm. Condoms protect against insecticides lol.

by Anonymous

reply 25

September 11, 2019 4:47 AM

Airplane bullets with Dippity-Do hair gel as lube

Grandpa was in the Air Force

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by Anonymous

reply 27

September 11, 2019 5:48 AM

R25, “Improvised Dildos” will surely one day be the title of a historical memoir of the Trump cabinet.

by Anonymous

reply 28

September 11, 2019 6:11 AM

A gumby figure, a slinky, one of those orange hot wheel tracks.

by Anonymous

reply 29

September 11, 2019 6:11 AM

My new FAVORITE phrase is “improvised dildos!”

by Anonymous

reply 30

September 11, 2019 6:13 AM

Cucumbers must be the number one substitute

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by Anonymous

reply 31

September 11, 2019 6:16 AM

What a life affirming thread. I no longer fret about the future of mankind.

by Anonymous

reply 36

September 11, 2019 7:37 AM

I like yams for their roughness ❤️

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by Anonymous

reply 37

September 11, 2019 4:20 PM

I also favored the mini baseball bat.....you could go as far as you wanted......

by Anonymous

reply 38

September 11, 2019 4:41 PM

r24 I tied a cord to the end of my mini bat just in case. I was confident it wouldn't slip out of my grip, but better to be safe than sorry.

by Anonymous

reply 39

September 11, 2019 4:59 PM

Heh, I tied a cord to the end of my pestle just in case as well, even though its base was flared. I'd heard so many horror stories of people going to the ER with a foreign object stuck up their pipe, no way would I ever allow myself the shame of becoming one of those anecdotes nurses tell on Reddit.

by Anonymous

reply 40

September 11, 2019 5:34 PM

I also used a foam handbar grip. It was just rigid enough to serve as a butt plug, but still soft and maliable, plus there was no way I could lose it inside of me. I'd stretch a condom over it and ride away.

If you live with your parents and ever need a discreet sex toy that you can leave on your desk and no one will suspect, look into foam handlebar grips, but you have cover them with a latex glove or condom.

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by Anonymous

reply 41

September 11, 2019 6:21 PM

When I was about 9 or 10, my friend would beg me to insert an enema nozzle up his butt, which I gladly did. It was actually an old douche nozzle. I have no idea where he got it. After lubing it with spit, I'd slowly piston it in and out of his ass. I let him do it to me a few times, but then, as now, I was much happier being the Top.

by Anonymous

reply 43

September 11, 2019 9:55 PM

Good LORD! What happened to just pressing your crotch against the washer during the spin cycle?

by Anonymous

reply 47

September 11, 2019 10:44 PM

My white hood once I filled it with concrete, duh.

by Anonymous

reply 48

September 11, 2019 10:47 PM

Though thin, a tapered candle works quite well with a stirring jabbing motion. You can also attempt taking the whole thing.

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by Anonymous

reply 49

September 11, 2019 11:00 PM

Kielbasa

But my hole was on fire for about 2 days later because I didn’t wrap it in saran wrap and the spices penetrated my hole.

🔥

I put it back in my parent’s fridge when I was done.

by Anonymous

reply 50

September 11, 2019 11:12 PM

I didn't know dildos existed. So I just presented my hole to my friend Steven and he shoved his thick gorgeous Polish cock up my ass.

by Anonymous

reply 52

September 12, 2019 1:50 AM

I tried a banana first but didn’t really work so then moved to carrots and later cucumbers. I was a very horny teen.

R8 my advice is make your own using basic stuff you will find in the hotel room + a condom. You will start with a pen or pencil then wrap it with a very large amount ou toilette paper, making a rol with the desire thickness and length. You can moist your hands with water and make the shape more compact, slightly wetting the paper as if making a papier-mache art school project. When happy with the size, stick the thing inside a condom and enjoy.

In the end you can easily dispose of both the paper and condom and still use the pen or pencil. Have fun!

by Anonymous

reply 55

September 12, 2019 2:19 AM

maybe don't shove wet toilet paper wrapped pencils an your ass, kids!

by Anonymous

reply 56

September 12, 2019 2:20 AM

The creativity and produce intake described and displayed in this thread is, um, remarkable.

But not, apparently, overwhelming.

by Anonymous

reply 58

September 12, 2019 7:58 PM

And what do thirsty horny teen boys do when half a cucumber breaks off deep in their sigmoid colon?

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by Anonymous

reply 59

September 12, 2019 9:54 PM

Has anyone tried a pickle? There’s some kinda hot ones.

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by Anonymous

reply 60

September 15, 2019 11:52 PM

English vs. Japanese vs. Persian cucumbers.

I'll take the Persian, please. It looks perfect!

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by Anonymous

reply 61

September 16, 2019 12:06 AM

Metal cigar case - also a great unsuspicious travel companion

by Anonymous

reply 62

September 16, 2019 1:05 AM

None. I had no desire for anal stimulation. It was all about the dick.

by Anonymous

reply 63

September 16, 2019 3:34 AM