I'm the strongest curse word in Aunt Bee's vocabulary: "Flibbertigibbit!"

by Anonymous

reply 107

February 26, 2023 2:03 PM

I'm the absence of nearly any black people in a Southern town, which of course speaks to the deepest fantasies of Americans during the Johnson era.

by Anonymous

reply 1

February 17, 2023 3:55 AM

I'm the Indian elixir that got Aunt Bee drunk.

by Anonymous

reply 2

February 17, 2023 4:01 AM

They fucking named me Opie!!!

by Anonymous

reply 3

February 17, 2023 4:05 AM

I'm tight ass Helen Krump.

by Anonymous

reply 4

February 17, 2023 4:06 AM

I'm Aunt Bee's insane taste buds, which on one hand allow her to make the most delicious pies in human histiry, but on the other prompt her to make pickles that taste to everyone but her like kerosene.

by Anonymous

reply 5

February 17, 2023 4:08 AM

I'm the town drunk using the cell key to lock myself up.

by Anonymous

reply 7

February 17, 2023 4:09 AM

I'm Aunt Bee's "friend" Clara Edwards. I'd gladly bump pussies with her!

by Anonymous

reply 8

February 17, 2023 4:10 AM

I’m Sarah the invisible telephone operator.

by Anonymous

reply 9

February 17, 2023 4:13 AM

There were actually more black people in New York than in all of the southern states, yet you don't see black people on I Love Lucy or a lot of NY based sitcoms.

by Anonymous

reply 10

February 17, 2023 4:14 AM

Sorry, I meant there were more black people in the state of NY than in any one of the southern states, not combined

by Anonymous

reply 11

February 17, 2023 4:17 AM

I’m Aunt Bee, the food pusher. Soviet talks break down until Aunt Bee gets up in the middle of the night to whip up a feast. And in the morning she sends the Soviet off with a bag of sandwiches.

by Anonymous

reply 12

February 17, 2023 4:22 AM

I'm Barney Fifths lone bullet.

by Anonymous

reply 13

February 17, 2023 4:24 AM

I am Ellie and am the first councilwoman in Mayberry's history.

by Anonymous

reply 15

February 17, 2023 4:32 AM

I am the common sense of Andy Taylor.

by Anonymous

reply 17

February 17, 2023 4:34 AM

I’m andy Griffiths barely concealed resentment of scene stealer don knotts.

by Anonymous

reply 18

February 17, 2023 4:41 AM

I’m Howard Sprague’s mother on break from being Darren Stephens’ mother.

by Anonymous

reply 19

February 17, 2023 4:41 AM

I’m Sheriff Without A Gun!

by Anonymous

reply 20

February 17, 2023 4:42 AM

I’m Floyd, the barber, Mayberry’s closet homosexual. On Friday nights, I drive to Mount Pilot and pickup black men from the wrong side of town.

by Anonymous

reply 22

February 17, 2023 4:44 AM

We're Daphne and Skippy. We're FUN GIRLS!

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 23

February 17, 2023 4:48 AM

I'm Juanita...Barney's secret side piece.

by Anonymous

reply 26

February 17, 2023 5:59 AM

I'm Princess, who was on Father Knows Best..

by Anonymous

reply 27

February 17, 2023 6:01 AM

"Opie" was the first name of a famous bandleader in the 40s and also of one of Andy Griffith's friends--it's probably from one of them that Opie Taylor got his unusual name.

In both cases 'Opie" was a diminutive nickname for "Opal," which would be an unexpected name for a man now (but would not have been once, I suppose).

by Anonymous

reply 28

February 17, 2023 6:02 AM

I’m Andy’s syrupy Southern drawl when I’m imparting my homespun one horse town wisdom to that ugly cunt Barney who thinks he’s such hot shit.

by Anonymous

reply 30

February 17, 2023 6:18 AM

I’m Goober’s impeccable Cary Grant” take-off”.

by Anonymous

reply 32

February 17, 2023 6:27 AM

I’m Otis. When I’m bad, I lock myself in time out! 🥃

by Anonymous

reply 33

February 17, 2023 6:28 AM

I’m The Constitution’s Preamble

by Anonymous

reply 34

February 17, 2023 6:28 AM

I'm the porch, where Andy sits in the evening, playing his guitar...with Aunt Bea and Opie...chilling.

by Anonymous

reply 35

February 17, 2023 6:28 AM

I’m Bill Bixby, bad boy just passing through.

by Anonymous

reply 36

February 17, 2023 6:30 AM

I’m “Citizen’s Arrest! Citizen’s Arrest!”

by Anonymous

reply 37

February 17, 2023 6:32 AM

I’m the first rule: obey all rules!

by Anonymous

reply 40

February 17, 2023 8:39 AM

And I’m Barney Parney Poo

by Anonymous

reply 43

February 17, 2023 12:45 PM

…deputy’s sweet on me ^

by Anonymous

reply 45

February 17, 2023 12:47 PM

I'm the town's oldest oak tree...so happy not to be cut down when Hollywood came to Mayberry.

by Anonymous

reply 46

February 17, 2023 12:47 PM

CITIZENS ARREST CITIZENS ARREST

by Anonymous

reply 47

February 17, 2023 1:07 PM

I’m the big black dildos Barney used nightly

by Anonymous

reply 48

February 17, 2023 1:10 PM

I'm Aunt Bee's worried expression.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 49

February 17, 2023 1:11 PM

I'm Hope Summers as Clara. (Age 64 here.)

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 50

February 17, 2023 1:15 PM

Andy wanted to portray himself as a humble family man of faith, but in real life he had multiple affairs going on, including with real-life affairs with Aneta Corset (aka Helen Crump) and Joanna Moore (aka Miss Peggy).

Moore was a severe alcoholic but this song is beautiful.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 51

February 17, 2023 1:25 PM

I’m the smell of lavender and urine that Aunt Bea exudes.

by Anonymous

reply 52

February 17, 2023 3:21 PM

I’m fungus of the knee.

by Anonymous

reply 53

February 17, 2023 3:52 PM

Who’s walkin’ down the streets of May-berry,

Smilin’ at every-body she sees?

Who’s takin’ care of Opie and Andy?

Every-one knows it’s…. Aunt Bee!!

And Aunt Bee has great big thighs!

Her aprons are all Queen Size!

She gives my blue-jeans a rise when she walks by.

When she walks byyyyyyyy!!!

by Anonymous

reply 55

February 17, 2023 4:06 PM

It’s MEE! It’s MEE! It’s Ernest T!!!

by Anonymous

reply 56

February 17, 2023 5:30 PM

I never watched this show as a kid because I didn't like Andy Griffith's looks.

by Anonymous

reply 57

February 17, 2023 5:33 PM

You get a line and I’ll get a pole Honee! ! You get a line and I’ll get Pole Babe! You get a line and I’ll get a pole and we’ll go down to the fishing’ pole - Honey Baby Mine!

by Anonymous

reply 58

February 17, 2023 5:35 PM

[quote]I’m the smell of lavender and urine that Aunt Bea exudes.

One smell her body naturally produces, and the other she applies from an external source to her skin... but which is which?

by Anonymous

reply 59

February 17, 2023 6:11 PM

I'm the rest of the cast and crew, who in actuality couldn't stand Frances Bavier. She was a renowned bitch.

Trivia: Howard Morris (who played Ernest T. Bass) directed lots of those episodes. On one day of filming he was in the process of blocking the scene and deciding where each actor was going to be during the scene. At one point he told Bavier "Frances I'm going to move you over here". Bavier immediately became incensed and bellowed "I WILL NOT BE MOVED ANYWHERE, I AM NOT A PIECE OF FURNITURE!". Morris recounted that was one of the days he really wanted to slap her across the face.

by Anonymous

reply 60

February 17, 2023 6:16 PM

[quote]I’m the smell of lavender and urine that Aunt Bea exudes.

As a gentle, friendly reminder, my name is spelled BEE, not Bea but BEE

by Anonymous

reply 61

February 17, 2023 7:03 PM

I'm the turpentine in Aunt Bee's pickles.

by Anonymous

reply 62

February 17, 2023 7:10 PM

Francis was born in 1902 - during the run of the show she was 58 - 68.

Andy was 34 - 42.

by Anonymous

reply 63

February 17, 2023 8:37 PM

Why was it Aunt Bee instead of Aunt Bea? How ridic.

by Anonymous

reply 64

February 17, 2023 8:56 PM

This show has given Boomer Americans a false representation of what their childhoods were like. It’s nauseating to watch nowadays.

by Anonymous

reply 65

February 17, 2023 9:03 PM

Float like a butterfly, sting like Ain't Bee!

Fun Fact: Paul Hartman (Emmett) and Hartman's real life wife Grace were among the first Tony Award winners for Best Actor and Actress in a Musical.

by Anonymous

reply 66

February 17, 2023 9:28 PM

I’m Big Maude. I always think of something brilliant.

by Anonymous

reply 67

February 18, 2023 2:01 AM

I'm the season when they started broadcasting in color.

by Anonymous

reply 68

February 18, 2023 2:02 AM

I'm this episode that's on this evening:

[quote]Andy's jealous when a handsome new doctor (George Nader), who seems to have an eye for Ellie, sets up practice in town. Ellie: Elinor Donahue. Barney: Don Knotts. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier.

by Anonymous

reply 69

February 18, 2023 3:23 AM

[quote]This show has given Boomer Americans a false representation of what their childhoods were like.

That's interesting. I thought my childhood was really like Richie Petrie's. Thanks for the update.

by Anonymous

reply 70

February 18, 2023 4:03 AM

[quote] This show has given Boomer Americans a false representation of what their childhoods were like.

R65 Well, I'm a Boomer from a big city (and by that I don't mean Raleigh) who knew as a kid watching The Andy Griffith Show that Mayberry was a fantasy. Even when I lived in North Carolina for a few years in my 20s I didn't see anything like Mayberry.

by Anonymous

reply 71

February 18, 2023 4:35 AM

I'm Aunt Bee learning to fly and all the mountains look like Southern California mountains.

by Anonymous

reply 72

February 18, 2023 4:40 AM

I'm Earle Hagen's numb lips after take 44 of whistling that theme song.

by Anonymous

reply 73

February 18, 2023 8:02 AM

I'm an episode of the original Star Trek, when Spock, Kirk & some of the crew were transported back to a version of small town America and they appear right in front of Floyd's Barber Shop, and walk the streets of a desolate Mayberry.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 74

February 18, 2023 10:08 AM

I'm the studio where the Andy Griffith Show (as well as about 100 other productions was filmed, then and now. I'm also where they previously filmed the burning of Atlanta in Gone With The Wind, which was actually them burning down the old King Kong set because they needed the land for other productions.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 75

February 18, 2023 10:13 AM

R75 Not to be picky, but they were going to destroy those old sets and only decided to burn them because they needed to have a scene of the burning of Atlanta. Otherwise they would not have burned them. It was a controlled fire for the movie.

by Anonymous

reply 76

February 18, 2023 11:54 AM

I'm Gomer Pyle and I'll be leaving to join the Marines!

by Anonymous

reply 77

February 18, 2023 1:03 PM

I'm Emmet, the most boring regular character in the color episodes.

by Anonymous

reply 78

February 18, 2023 2:45 PM

I'm Goober Pyle. I'm the straight one.

by Anonymous

reply 79

February 18, 2023 3:17 PM

[quote]Not to be picky, but

But you are being picky.

by Anonymous

reply 80

February 18, 2023 4:46 PM

I'm Barbara Eden, the manicurist at Floyd's barbershop....who was looking for the "friendliest town"....making the men drop their jaws and very nervous. The married women folk were nervous, too.

by Anonymous

reply 81

February 18, 2023 5:29 PM

[quote] I'm Gomer Pyle and I'll be leaving to join the Marines!

R77 And when I’m there there’ll be a “Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!”

by Anonymous

reply 82

February 18, 2023 7:46 PM

I'm the unrealistic bullshit but endearing scenarios.

by Anonymous

reply 83

February 18, 2023 7:54 PM

I'm...or rather *was* Lina Lamont.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 84

February 18, 2023 8:08 PM

When the cameras weren't on her, Aunt Bea regularly said:

[quote]Opie, get your fucking feet off the coffee table or I'm going whip your ass so hard they'll send you to a reservation to live.

[quote]Andie, I've always appreciated that Mayberry is so free of the dark scum of the South, but I never expected to see you have a faggot like Gomer Pyle shove a nozzle into the hole in the back end and hear you shout, "Fill me up, Gomer. I ought to kill you in your sleep.

[quote]Goober, get it into your idiot head that I DO NOT HAVE RETARDS come to my door "just to say howdy." I know you shit your pants and since you eat nothing but canned diner chili it would eat through my pink Bassett sofa like hydrochloric acid. Now GET THE FUCK AWAY or I'll shove this vacuum hose so far up your filthy ass it'll suck the last of your brain right through your ribcage!"

But my contribution to the thread is

I'm the used syringe in the back of the locked bottom drawer of the file cabinet in the back room Ellie Walker's drugstore.

by Anonymous

reply 85

February 18, 2023 8:15 PM

I'm the flask of liquor Floyd the Barber hid among the shelf of hair tonics, readily nearby when Floyd need one of his too frequent "pick me ups."

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 86

February 18, 2023 8:17 PM

At least spell her name correctly, r85.

by Anonymous

reply 87

February 18, 2023 8:18 PM

I’m the roadhouse on the outskirts of town. What happens here is not spoken of in polite company.

But, if you have something to tell me about what happened on Saturday night come sit right next to me.

by Anonymous

reply 88

February 18, 2023 8:24 PM

Thanks, R87. I am almost blind and sometimes have trouble with the keys.

I commit not to make the same mistake with you. C. U. N. T.

See?

by Anonymous

reply 89

February 18, 2023 8:45 PM

I'm the slack-jawed fans of the show, a care-center's population now posting here.

by Anonymous

reply 90

February 18, 2023 8:46 PM

Bless your heart, r89, but you seem to mistake rancid for sardonic.

by Anonymous

reply 91

February 18, 2023 10:09 PM

And you seem to confuse a stooge's affected condescension with an underlying sadness behind all hall monitoring, R91.

You also do not understand the meaning of "sardonic," unsurprisingly. But we trust your personal experience with rancidness.

by Anonymous

reply 92

February 18, 2023 10:14 PM

Any bets she hurriedly looks up a definition and posts it to proves she knew the meaning?

I'm Clara. True-blue devoted to something but exactly what it was no one ever knew.

by Anonymous

reply 93

February 18, 2023 10:16 PM

I know the meaning, r93, and I stand by it.

by Anonymous

reply 94

February 18, 2023 10:21 PM

I'm Clara Edwards. My appearance in "Rosemary's Baby" has become a painful memory. The disagreements about the director about nude scenes. He simply refused to let me bare my ample bosom!

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 95

February 18, 2023 10:58 PM

I'm Howard McNear (Floyd the barber) and I didn't become truly funny until I had a big stroke and could no longer stand on my own for long and had trouble speaking clearly.

by Anonymous

reply 96

February 18, 2023 11:03 PM

I’m Bill Bixby, Daddy’s little snot nosed rich kid.

by Anonymous

reply 97

February 22, 2023 10:20 PM

We’re the Morrison sisters. We were not suspected of being moonshiners.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 98

February 22, 2023 11:12 PM

I'm Whitney Blake, better known as Dorothy Baxter or Meredith Baxter-Dyke's mother.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 99

February 22, 2023 11:15 PM

Actually, it's not Aunt Bee, it's AINT Bee.

by Anonymous

reply 102

February 23, 2023 4:44 AM

I’m the guilt Andy put on Opie for killing that mother bird with his slingshot. But it was OK in the end because Andy and Opie went fishing and killed some mother fish and then went home and ate Aunt Bee’s fried mother chicken.

by Anonymous

reply 103

February 23, 2023 12:51 PM

Don't cruelly kill wild animals with your slingshot because we fish for food, and eat chicken! That makes a lot of sense.

by Anonymous

reply 104

February 24, 2023 6:14 PM

Why did Aunt Bee’s pickles taste so bad? Couldn’t her friend Clara had given her constructive feedback?

by Anonymous

reply 105

February 24, 2023 6:33 PM

Howard Morris (Ernest T. Bass) was good looking during his younger years.

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 106

February 25, 2023 12:41 AM

Imagine it was Andy, Opie & their Fierce Motherfucker Aunt Bey

by Anonymous

reply 107

February 26, 2023 2:03 PM