R35, yes, I’m doing a lot better, thanks for asking. I had really severe ulcerative colitis. The doctor was talking about taking out some intestine. I didn’t want to do that because once it’s gone, you can never get it back.

Eventually I made a complete recovery without surgery. But it took years, and that guy was long gone.

We had a lot of conversations about how self-indulgent I was being by being so sick, how I could get better if only I applied myself, and how he was so tired of it. He told me he would leave me if I didn’t get better soon, and I was hanging on to my job by my fingernails because I missed so much time. I was going to work deathly ill every day. I didn’t have a supportive family like Jazz, so I was scared shitless.

Eventually he dumped me and I slowly got better. He was no prize himself, but a lot of guys aren’t going to take that into consideration. It really opened my eyes. I didn’t realize how impatient somebody could be about illness. My illness was related to extreme stress, and he was a part of that, but not all of it.

But in Jazz’ case, this is self inflicted. There is so much propaganda about how this is easily achievable, which is false, and that the people soon recover without incident, which is false. I can see some PC young person thinking Jazz has got it covered, the neo-vag is a done deal and is just like a wonan’s, and then they stick something up there and tear it. Midnight hospital trip, upset parents and siblings, anxious waiting in the hospital waiting room, a doctor comes out and says more surgery is required. Once a guy realizes she’s going to be one long medical emergency after another, he’s out of there.

My personality really changed when I was sick. Crying and depressed all the time, in pain all the time. I was told I’d be sick the rest of my life and I was young. After a couple of years of illness with no real solutions, I just wanted to die. I found out that people with chronic illness almost always become depressed. It’s not just emotional stress, it’s a physical symptom of illness. Even pets become depressed from physical illness. They’re not sad, their body isn’t producing the right chemicals for normal behavior. Same with humans.

I can tell you where Jazz will be in a few years, if she continues to have complications and doesn’t heal right. Her bouncy personality will be ruined from chronic pain, she’ll have anxiety attacks (which is what happens when you’re afraid of getting sick out somewhere all the time), she’ll be a brittle, anxious, exhausted, easily upset shell of her former self. I was.

Then there’s the dread she’ll feel after a few disastrous dates with a few jerks that treat her like a freak show instead of a person. More anxiety. A few of those and she’ll be afraid to date. As Mark Twain once wrote, “the burnt Experiment shuns the fire.”