jakejacob01 Interesting how small changes in physical appearance can affect how people respond. Maybe it’s combination of my own personal confidence/presentation combined with others initial perception and association of who they think I am based on cultural physical characteristics.

When I have my #beard and #scruff I perceive others treat me with more respect. Different people approach me, and I even entertain different types of conversations. I am still the same person of course so after people get to know me they express their opinions of who they thought I was initially and what assumptions they had to break through as they developed a deeper understanding of who I truly am.

With obvious exceptions, each person gets to choose how they present themselves to the world, and which cultural assumptions are carried with their “look.” But appearances don’t reflect a person’s identity.

Overall it’s a great reminder to me that appearances are simply surface deep. The old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” rings true. Baseline we work with what god and nature gave us, and then add to it: clean cut, scruffy, fluffy, lean, tattooed, pierced, makeup, smiling, stoic, and layers of clothing choices, and a personal choice of expression and identity.

Often the most common response I get after someone gets to know me is. “Jake you’re a lot nicer than I thought you’d be.” Obviously there a selection bias because people who take the time get to know me stick around to report as opposed to those who don’t like me I filter out, and a confirmation bias as I may be looking for these familiar patterns to reinforce my belief, but aside from an imperfectly designed study I find the anecdote holds true.

How I present myself to the world provides people initial information about myself, true or not. I want others to see me for who I really am, so I should also give others the benefit of the doubt to look past my perceptions/assumptions and find out who they really are. Odds are I will see someone a lot like me, an reluctantly #authentic, #vulnerable, slightly guarded soul, flawed but with good intentions, who simply wants to be loved and understood.

#appearances #beard