I have witnessed men mansplaining a lot, particularly in professional settings. I'm not suggesting it doesn't exist, nor that it is not obnoxious.

But I have also watched women engage in the same type of behavior (one of my good female friends is something of a ... womansplainer. But in her defense, she is very intelligent and her splaining is usually justified.)

What say you, DL?

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 53

April 14, 2020 9:26 PM

There are men that are assholes. There are women that are assholes. Assholes need to shut the fuck up for five minutes.

by Anonymous

reply 1

April 13, 2020 3:08 PM

I've seen more men being confident enough to explain a matter to others when it's clear their knowledge is very partial. Usually when a woman talks over others it's about a matter she knows well. That's the way they are socialized, I think.

by Anonymous

reply 2

April 13, 2020 3:14 PM

Women do it all the time. Go to any meeting at work with a woman in charge, or worse, 2 or 3 women are running the meeting. It's nonstop womensplaining. I consider womensplaining as mansplaining but with a ton of touchy, feely, kumbayah, "say 3 nice things about the person next to you" bullshit.

by Anonymous

reply 3

April 13, 2020 3:14 PM

I think the actual term had its 15 minutes of fame and, thankfully, has more or less left our colloquial lexicon. Dumb word!

by Anonymous

reply 5

April 13, 2020 3:17 PM

Women in the workforce are dishonest, passive-aggressive, game-playing and generally incompetent.

I find it better not to hire them rather than waste my time attempting to train and mentor them, to be accused of "mansplaining," "being sexist," "being mean," or whatever their defensive bullshit is at the moment. Plus posing as if having a twat makes them "strong, wise women."

Ninety percent of them try to turn every man around them into daddy and/or a man who wants them, or should.

The other ten percent are wonderful, decent, prudent and deserve success.

But it's not worth it trying to find them. Thank heavens I have found a few and don't have to maintain quotas by new hires. The women under 45 now are like savages.

by Anonymous

reply 6

April 13, 2020 3:18 PM

I was afraid of trollish, MRA responses like r6

by Anonymous

reply 7

April 13, 2020 3:19 PM

"Women in the workforce are dishonest, passive-aggressive, game-playing and generally incompetent."

When a woman is straight forward, they're called bitches.

by Anonymous

reply 8

April 13, 2020 3:21 PM

This is one of those things that women and men do but only men are shamed for.

by Anonymous

reply 9

April 13, 2020 3:25 PM

Men are competitive. They mansplain to one another CONSTANTLY. They do not do it to only to women. The piggier of the bunch may employ an even more patronizing tone when doing it to women, but they do it to men, too.

Women often do not meet them on this admittedly unpleasant playing field. Can't? Won't? I do not know. But they are fools if they believe that it is a behavior directed solely at them.

Now, those who care to do so will accuse me of mansplaining in that comment. And to those who take that position, I reply, "Go fuck yourself." I refuse to get into an endless loop of "No, I didn't." "Yes, you did."

by Anonymous

reply 10

April 13, 2020 3:30 PM

It’s nice to work with a group of intelligent, decent people with differing opinions. We talk over each other all the time and nobody gets upset.

by Anonymous

reply 11

April 13, 2020 3:30 PM

"to comment on or explain something in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner" is not a gender specific activity.

There are plenty of men and women who do this to toward both men and women.

How many men do you know who "mansplain" who do NOT do the same thing to other men?

It's like "toxic masculinity" - how many men are "toxic" only to women and not more generally to everyone around them.

Being condescending (or a douchebag) is not gender-specific. To say that more men are like this is like saying that women are more over-emotional. Is there a specific portmanteau for over-wrought women - of course, not.

by Anonymous

reply 12

April 13, 2020 3:39 PM

I've spent most of my professional life as the only female attorney in the room. Most of the time it is assumed I am support staff. My favorite activity in these meetings is to listen to everyone '"splain", men are worse but women aren't immune. It's a great tactic.

by Anonymous

reply 13

April 13, 2020 3:45 PM

It is the way men were raised. Men in any managerial or executive position expect other men to have decisive answers and explanations.

Women are allowed more of a free pass if they don't know something. I've seen that my whole life - from early school through my most recent job. Men are raised to be more lenient and kinder to women.

Now, women on women is a different story. Each sex is harder on the same sex than with the opposite sex.

by Anonymous

reply 14

April 13, 2020 3:52 PM

In my area speaking confidently about something you are ignorant about is done by both men and women pretty equally. Now bullshitting can get you so far, but at a certain point of professionalism is self-defeating. I've been on many appointment boards and project meetings that featured the fixed half-smile and blinking of everyone as we collectively register the bullshitter. And then the slight pause before someone starts dismantling them.

by Anonymous

reply 15

April 13, 2020 4:09 PM

This is the way the workplace has always operated - some people are just assholes, and others are overly sensitive. It is just in the past 10 years or so, however, that women have been told that it is their duty to complain publicly about any and every thing that they don't like.

by Anonymous

reply 16

April 13, 2020 4:21 PM

[quote] Being condescending (or a douchebag) is not gender-specific.

Actually to some extent it is. Men and women do have different behavior. Men tend to be more direct and assertive. That’s why it drives people crazy when women are. Women constantly complain that if they are assertive they are called bitches, but that’s because it’s not really female behavior to be openly aggressive.

And no it’s not “sexist” to point out that biology has made us behave differently. The same women who will say this is a sexist description will then turn around and praise female behavior (women are more nurturing, women seek collaboration and consensus), doing exactly the same thing they were just criticizing.

Men have sharp elbows — they will shove you out of the way and show others they are better than you, smarter than you. Women OTOH are backstabbers and will show others why you are no good.

by Anonymous

reply 17

April 13, 2020 4:26 PM

Men are notoriously overconfident inspite of their incompetence, stupidity and shoetcomings. Just look at Trump. This dumb fuck has destroyed the US.

by Anonymous

reply 18

April 13, 2020 4:34 PM

R1 sums it up best, they even predicted most of this thread.

by Anonymous

reply 19

April 13, 2020 4:42 PM

Where does Matt Damon fall into this?

by Anonymous

reply 20

April 13, 2020 4:54 PM

The only thing biology has to do with this is that people are raised differently based on their biology.

by Anonymous

reply 21

April 13, 2020 5:11 PM

Nope, there are behaviors that are hardwired based on sex — this is true of humans just as it is of other animals.

by Anonymous

reply 22

April 13, 2020 5:41 PM

[quote] When a woman is straight forward, they're called bitches.

Yes, Roseanne.

by Anonymous

reply 23

April 13, 2020 5:49 PM

"Men are competitive. They mansplain to one another CONSTANTLY."

Sure. But the constant insults disguised as "humor" can get extremely tedious - to everyone.

by Anonymous

reply 24

April 14, 2020 3:43 AM

There are terrible cunty boors all around, and they are very, very, notably diverse.

by Anonymous

reply 25

April 14, 2020 3:46 AM

They're raised to be competative.

by Anonymous

reply 26

April 14, 2020 12:08 PM

If women weren't so scatterbrained and tangential in meetings, we wouldn't have to do it.

by Anonymous

reply 28

April 14, 2020 12:31 PM

I think the guy in the pic has BDF and he can splain his manhood on my face.

by Anonymous

reply 29

April 14, 2020 12:37 PM

In my own experience, it is more common from men than women.

by Anonymous

reply 30

April 14, 2020 1:20 PM

I noticed it at the brokerage I used to work at, as well as the website I helped run. Also heard from mom for years about how some man would come to work in the office at her clinic and suddenly be an expert at everything, and would pal around with the other men (doctors) while insulting or harassing the women (nurses). Then he'd get promoted to the regional office and a new guy doing the same thing would show up.

I think when women get bossy they behave in a different way that isn't what you'd call womansplaining. They're control freaks like some men are, but they don't have this attitude that they should be listened to and obeyed by default because they're women.

by Anonymous

reply 31

April 14, 2020 1:25 PM

If I had a nickel for every time a man "explained" to me something I already knew, I'd be rich. If I had a nickel for every time a man "explained" to me something I already knew was [bold]wrong [/bold], I'd be as rich as Bloomberg.

By the way, since none of you gentlemen seemed to notice, most of the comments in this thread would be considered "mansplaining," since a group of gay men who are not anywhere close to being experts on female behavior have deigned to explain to the DL denizens how women act and why. In other words, this behavior is so ingrained in your personalities that you don't even know when you're doing it.

That is all.

by Anonymous

reply 32

April 14, 2020 1:48 PM

Oh please r32. If I had a nickel for every woman at work who plays the victim card to get ahead or hide their incompetence, I'd be richer than Bezos.

by Anonymous

reply 33

April 14, 2020 1:57 PM

Love how quickly r33 showed up to mansplain to r32

by Anonymous

reply 34

April 14, 2020 2:00 PM

The very definition of womansplaining: Not being in agreement with r32 means you're mansplaining.

Yeah you're totally winning people over.

by Anonymous

reply 35

April 14, 2020 2:13 PM

I notice it more in other men. The difference to me is that women often preface it with “I believe...or It could be that...or information indicates...”. I try to do that as well. My father and brother-in-law both mansplain all the time and are oblivious to it. They make an overly simplistic or false statement about something complex and say it boldly with complete authority. Sometimes the preface is “the answer is...” Because they are big, strong confident men with deep voices it seems they are rarely called out on it. They do this to both men and women.

by Anonymous

reply 36

April 14, 2020 2:15 PM

Yes. They also often do it to other men they perceive as inferiors in a given hierarchy.

by Anonymous

reply 37

April 14, 2020 2:18 PM

The phenomena of MANSPLAINING was an artificial creation of the repug reditt trolls during the 2016 election. It was a dog whistle to the moronic hamster hung white males that the "cunt Hillary" would castrate them if she was elected. They made sure to saturate the web with this non issue. Of course it worked. They grabbed their tiny nuts in horror and ran to vote for their mushroom min dicked orange god.

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by Anonymous

reply 38

April 14, 2020 3:46 PM

I feel most incidences of "mansplaining" come down to the recipient noy being receptive to the information provided or plainly hostile to opinions that challenge their beliefs. It's just a way of deflecting criticism by using sexism as an excuse.

by Anonymous

reply 39

April 14, 2020 4:07 PM

"They're raised to be competative."

No, dimwit. It's nature.

by Anonymous

reply 40

April 14, 2020 4:15 PM

It's not that at all, R39. Allow me to mansplain it to you.

Men are competitive and women generally are collaborative. Men are constantly setting everyone straight about everything. For example, I am a man and I am setting you straight on this matter.

Women being collaborative view these attempts to seize the conversation as intrusive and inappropriate. But that's all the guys have got.

Sadly, women have chosen to step back and complain about the situation and demand that men change. That will never happen. Men just view this as a win. When women learn to get in their faces and tell the guys to go fuck themselves, they will win. Changing the topic from the matter at hand to the men's bad behavior will never work.

I don't not advocate unnecessary fraternizing between the sexes. It far too often fails, with no one understanding what just happened between them or why or what to do about it.

by Anonymous

reply 41

April 14, 2020 4:22 PM

"Men just view this as a win. When women learn to get in their faces and tell the guys to go fuck themselves, they will win."

Here we go again - then the men will dismiss them as bitches.

by Anonymous

reply 42

April 14, 2020 4:29 PM

Unfortunately r41, you're incorrect. But understandably so, as you are old.

by Anonymous

reply 43

April 14, 2020 4:32 PM

[quote]This is one of those things that women and men do but only men are shamed for.

I 'm a woman and I agree with this. I've seen this in college internships and in a past job. I did a college internship at a domestic violence shelter and the staff was mostly female. The executive director and the assistant director were woman who were quite condescending to pretty much everyone else on staff and the shelter had volunteers who would come in to assist with different things. They had to deal with the condescending behavior from the directors. The workplace environment there was quite toxic if lower level employees were unable to get donations from local businesses they would get shamed for it by the directors. There was another incident in which two male cops came into the shelter as a part of their investigation duties for a DV case. Most of the people on staff were quite rude and condescending to the cops who were polite.

I worked in administration for a public transportation agency. It is mostly a bus service agency and we also provide a paratransit van program to help transport elderly and disabled people who qualify and live a bit far from certain bus routes. With that program we often deal with home health care agencies calling into inquire about the program and how to set up ride services for their clients who really can't use public buses. Some of the bus drivers are assigned to drive paratransit vans on rotations. One day we got a call from the owner of a home health care agency who is a woman. She was nasty to one of the secretaries about how some of her agency clients were being picked up by female drivers during the winter. She told the secretary that she felt that only men should be driving elderly and disabled clients in the vans during the winter. The secretary had me get on the phone with her. She said the same things to me. I politely explained to her that our van driver schedules are on rotating basis and that all the people who are assigned to drive vans are also bus drivers who have CDLs and other passenger endorsements. That didn't matter to her and she kept being condescending towards me. That day, my supervisor who was a man was out of the office for meetings with another agency. The next day he spoke to her on the phone and he said she was still nasty with him. Our agency filed a complaint with the state about the home care agency owner discriminating against some of our drivers. Nothing ever really came of it and she pretty much got away with the nasty phone incidents she put us through. My boss and I talked about this and we both said that if she had a been a man she would probably faced some kind of consequence.

by Anonymous

reply 45

April 14, 2020 4:48 PM

Well, what I hate more than mansplaining is that women always feel the need to let everyone has a say and feel validated. Who the fuck cares about feelings - it has nothing to do with work?

by Anonymous

reply 46

April 14, 2020 4:55 PM

R38 ManSPLAINING not ManSPREADING

Offsite Link

by Anonymous

reply 47

April 14, 2020 5:04 PM

If she wants to fuck him, the man is strong, confident, and knowledgeable and merely wants to share his knowledge with others.

If she doesn't want to fuck him, the man is a mansplainer.

by Anonymous

reply 48

April 14, 2020 5:04 PM

Is alt-right Republicanism truly a non-lizard person retard behavior?

by Anonymous

reply 49

April 14, 2020 5:20 PM

r48 that is true to a point. Even the hot guy in the office can get annoying and teeter into the mansplanning mode because when they meet new people they gravitate towards them. I see it with some of my new hires. The hot frat boy in my last training class received a huge benefit of attention and care whenever he spoke. He's not dumb, but he thinks that he's smarter than he is because he has a finance degree. Problem is that there are many other people in that class with the similar credentials that deliverer high quality work. Yet, when he speaks up he is given the benefit of the doubt and treated as a knowledgable partner. He's cute so it affects me as well, but objectively it can lead to bad habits as he progresses into the corporate arena.

I strive to be fair and call out bs across the board in a constructive manner. I also make it a point to request other's opinions. What's the point of convening a meeting full of people when only a few people are going to hijack the talking time. A good manager should nip such actions in the bud and set proper expectations. I'm not leading the training program but I hope to avoid these situations in the future.

by Anonymous

reply 50

April 14, 2020 6:03 PM

People who claim women never do it need to meet my mother and my ex-boss. There are plenty of women who will do it. However, there are definitely more opportunities for men to do it and get away with it.

by Anonymous

reply 51

April 14, 2020 6:35 PM

R51, wouldn’t that be “womansplaining”?

by Anonymous

reply 52

April 14, 2020 6:48 PM

Someone coined the term to call to attention to the fact that men do it more.

But you knew that.

by Anonymous

reply 53

April 14, 2020 9:26 PM