For those who have answered my questions so far… thanks!

My self esteem has suffered greatly since moving to the south and experiencing CoViD out here. Perhaps it’s not my actual self esteem that’s taken a hit, because I wouldn’t fuck a dirtbag still, for free otherwise. But my existence in a reality that I’m experiencing one way, while those around me are the majority and experience it in another, had been a true mind-fuck, nevertheless.

What I know for sure that it comes down to with me, is my pride. I’m way too prideful to debase myself for cash. And I r been in super sketchy situations where I probably should have, but I also know that the sun really does rise and what’s almost killing you today usually doesn’t continue to kill you tomorrow, if you stand your ground are are willing to take your chances on yourself, and by yourself, instead of some fat, hairy fuck who wants to shit in your mouth for a decent amount of cash.

It’s not that I’m a prude or “better than” or some princess, because I certainly am not. I’ve cleaned toilets for a living, lifted heavy freight with dudes on loading docks, and even learned to drive a freakin’ forklift, because that’s what I had to do to get by.

And for sure, I too, LOVE nice things and have a penchant for the finer things in life, but I know myself too well. Mentally and emotionally, I would sink into the lowest realms of despair, if I had to look back and have unpleasant memories of someone crapping on me for $$$$.

I’m just not built that way. Even when I was snorting 8 balls left and right, if I didn’t have the cash to buy imore, the party was over and I was perfectly fine with that dreaded aspect of the addiction cycle.

But I understand why people get caught up. I don’t judge these girls for this bullshit. They’re also being exploited by some of the BIGGEST POS out there, including their own parents.

I’ve heard LL is not a good person. I haven’t a clue and honestly DGAF. But if there’s anything on there to be salvaged, I genuinely hope she can salvage it and live a simpler kind of life, because as silly as it sounds, being able to close your eyes at night and live with yourself without self medicating is a PRICELESS and often overlooked accoutrement.