House Hunters International drinking game #1

Every time a seeker says “Wow!” — take a drink. (Be careful. This one alone will put the most stalwart game players under the table quickly. There are a lot of “wows” – often warranted – on this show.

Every time someone enters a room and says “Awesome!” — take a sip.

Every time the camera cuts to a real estate agent tapping away on a laptop (usually after the second property has been shown) – take a drink.

If the real estate agent is walking on a city sidewalk or a beach with cellphone to ear – take a drink.

If the real estate agent makes a face filled with gastric discomfort after hearing the couple’s budget – take a drink.

If the seekers insist on both a swimming pool and an ocean view – take a drink.

If the seekers insist on an ocean view and swimming pool and ultimately pick a property that has neither – take a drink (and send one to the table where the real estate agent is sitting …)

In fact, if any non-negotiable is abandoned by the end of the show – take a drink for each one.

If the real estate agent confides to the TV audience that one or the other “will have to compromise” – take a drink.

If the seekers insist on being close to the urban action, then complain about the street noise that rises up to the balcony – take a drink.

If the husband stretches out on a bed – take a drink. Take a second drink if his feet hang out over the end of the bed.

If the wife complains about the size of the kitchen or the bathroom – do not take a drink.

If the husband complains about the size of the kitchen or bathroom – take a drink.

If an objection to a house somehow feels contrived for the benefit of the narrative – you’ll know after a while — take a drink.

If there are continuity issues – winterbound Vermonters with deep tans on their first day hunting for a Caribbean island apartment, for example – take a drink.

If the couple decides to go out and buy a dog before they know where they will be living or if they have a job – take a drink.

If either seeker is still wearing the same outfit by the time the third property is shown – take a drink.

If the couple is walking and holding hands as they discuss the three properties – take a drink.

If they high-five each other or kiss at the end of the selection process – take a drink.

If they have no body contact at the end of the process – do not take a drink (and plan on snagging that property for yourself as soon as you can get to Chile or Australia or Wales…)

If the couple goes over budget – take a drink.

When someone in the same room says “I want to live there!” — take their drink away.

If you actually guess which property the couple will select – take a big drink.