R65, my ex and broke up once he started attending PG (as we here, in Los Angeles, refer to the Pacific Group).

This guy was a dead ringer for a young and hot Colin Farrell. Gorgeous. Smart, too, but very codependent and needy.

Anyhow, he started going to PG after being invited by one of the guys from his men's stag meeting. I was very supportive at first, I even attended that huge Wednesday night meeting with him several times.

Soon after, he started going to Clancy's house on Saturday mornings for games of volleyball, yard work, Hot dogs, and burgers. When I asked why Clancy didn't hire his own crew of gardeners and landscapers, my ex got very upset, saying that this was the problem with our original home group. We just didn't have "unity".

Eventually, he got himself a PG sponsor, and it became mandatory for him to attend the Wednesday night meeting, as well as pretty much every fucking meeting his sponsor went to.

I tried to go along, attending meetings and a plethora of social events with my then boyfriend. I became friendly with other members, and soon found myself being bossed around and being told to pick up newcomers and other members for meetings, or being volunteered for sponsorship of people I had never even met. The fact that I had strong boundaries, and said "no" to many of these requests, did not go over well.

I also made the troubling discovery that the PG was filled with hardcore Republicans, who loathed gays, lesbians, non-Christians, & non-Jews. (specifically Muslims). The Jews were "tolerated". Blacks and Hispanics were also tolerated as long as they had "adapted" and had well paying jobs, or spent Saturday mornings cleaning Clancy's yard and doing handyman projects on or in Clancy's home.

My ex had told his sponsor that I was on Wellbutrin at the time, which I was, and his sponsor told him that I was not sober as a result. My ex even suggested that I take a newcomer chip. At that time I had 8 years clean and sober, with no near beer, cigarettes, sustaining a very clean diet, and going to the gym 6 days a week.

After a year of this bullshit, I broke up with my ex, and gave him 30 days to find a new place to live. He moved out within 2 weeks, and relapsed shorty thereafter.

To each his own, but the Pacific Group is not the place for me.