Three Labrador retrievers strike up a conversation at the vet. The black lab says “So why are you here?”

The yellow lab says, “I’m a p-sser. I piss on everything—the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. The final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner’s bed.”

The black lab says, “So what do you think the vet will do?”

“Gonna give me Prozac,” said the yellow lab. “All the vets are prescribing it. Supposed to work for everything.”

The black lab then turns to the brown lab and says, “Why are you here?”

“I’m a digger,” said the brown lab. “I dig under fences, dig up flowers, I dig just for the hell of it. The last straw was when I dug a great big hole in my master’s couch.”

The black lab says “So what do you think they’ll do?”

“Looks like it’ll be Prozac for me too,” said the dejected lab.

The brown lab then turns to the black lab and says, “What are you in for?”

The black lab says “I’m a humper. I’ll hump anything. The cat, the pillows, the tables, whatever. The last straw was when my owner got out of the shower and bent over to dry himself. I couldn’t help myself, I hopped on his ass and pumped away.”

The brown and yellow labs exchange sad glances and say, “So Prozac for you, too, huh?”

​​​​​​​“No,” the black lab says, “I’m here to get my nails clipped.”