I'm beginning to think of dermatologists as — barely — one step above a chiropractor (sorry R31, turn off your offense-o-meter). Echoing those posts in which patient goes to dermatologist pointing to something that is bothering them and being told to just leave it alone, I had a wart pop up on my arm and it grew to the point it was casting a shadow, and since I had a pending appointment with a new doctor, I let it be until I saw the doc. I point at it and tell him I want it removed, and he's like "oh, buy some amlactin lotion and scrub it with a loofa" which I found unacceptable. Meanwhile, a mole I've had on my abdomen literally my entire life was of great concern to him. I say, "I've had that since I was a baby. It hasn't changed in appearance. Why are you concerned?" and he replies "It looks bad! We must remove it!" I reply, "okay, and while we're at it, let's remove this wart" and he replies "I'll have to bill you for a cosmetic procedure which your insurance won't cover."

Did I mention that the walls of the exam room, the waiting room, and almost every other flat surface was covered with ads for plastic surgery?

So, I ask if my insurance is covering the removal of the mole that isn't a problem, which of course it does. At that point, I declined any procedure, which really set him off. "You're denying care?" he asks with a tone of alarm in his voice.

"Yes. This appointment has been a waste of time and money." He wants me to sign a form that acknowledges I've declined care for the lifelong mole and which expulcates him from any and all responsibility, which I refuse to sign and say "if you're not going to perform the removal of a wart, which is bothering me, and as requested, and instead subject me to a procedure that I don't find necessary, I'm not going to sign anything. I say again, this appointment has been a waste of time and money." He gets huffy and says our appointment is finished then. Indeed, it was.

I found another dermatologist, pointed to the wart, and he said "no problem, and I'll submit it as a cancer screening so your insurance will cover it" and about five minutes later it's gone. I also pointed at the mole on my abdomen, said I've had this since I was a baby, but the last dermatologist I saw thought it was a problem and wanted to remove it. What do you think?" and he looked at it, felt it, and asked "you've always had this?"

Me: "Yes."

Him: "Have you noticed any changes to the shape or color?"

Me: "No."

He snaps a photo of it with the little pen-like camera attached to his computer, which pops up on the monitor: "Then I'll note it, and we'll revisit it on your next yearly appointment. If it changes, bothers you, or you want it removed in the interim, let me know."

Me: "Ok."

---two years elapse---

Dr. Wart Remover: "Let's check that mole on your abdomen. Any changes?"

Me, undressing: "Yes. It itched when I was i the shower a couple of months ago, I barely brushed my abdomen with a washcloth, and it came off completely. No blood, no remaining mark or blemish... like it just was pasted on. It freaked me out. It was like losing an old friend" I said, smiling.

Him: "Sometimes breaking up is easier than you expect."